Oh My Soul!

All day today, I've been getting the same message.  I can't quite figure it out, but it's about the soul.  It's tugging on my heart, so I guess there is something I need to say about the soul.  Maybe my soul.  I'm just going to start writing and see where it goes.  I hope you'll join me for the ride!

This is what I think about the soul.  I think the soul is kept deep within you.  I think my soul is me.  It's the me I keep hidden a lot of times and the me I try to keep protected most of the time.  I think a big part of my journey is about my soul and allowing it to be vulnerable enough to feel someone else's soul.  I think that my soul has felt the most horrible feelings imaginable, but I also think it has felt, and is beginning to feel the most wonderful things imaginable! Wow!  Are we created amazingly or what?

I know in an earlier blog I wrote that when my marriage ended, I cried tears that came not from my eyes, but "my soul wailed."  That still breaks my heart to think that I was that broken.  There have been a few other times that my soul has cried.  The death of my sweet baby boy in 1976.  The death of my dad and the death of my mother.

There have also been times that I have been extremely happy and my soul has smiled.  The birth of my children.  When my children married the most wonderful spouses and when my grandchildren were born.  There is nothing better than to feel happiness in your soul!

Everything good or bad has left footprints on your soul.  It makes you who you are or better than that, it gives you the opportunity to allow the soul to die, or to allow the soul to heal and be reborn.  The choice is always ours to make.  I feel like the light bulb has gone off in my head and in my heart about this. 

The journey has been long and many of the steps have been slow and painful, but I think it is all about the soul.  I think it's about not letting go of hope.  It's about letting my soul learn to sing and dance.  It's about feeling the good in people.  It's about loving to the best of my ability those around me. It's about feeling the brokenness in them and trying to find a way to help them heal.  Maybe the journey is not about me, but using my life to better someone else's!  It's about letting you know you are worthy.  It's about letting you know you are loved.  It's about never, ever losing hope.  It's about finding a way to mend someone else's broken soul.  Helping someone else so fills my soul!

Recently I have noticed when I meet someone new and I reach out my hand to shake theirs or touch

their hand, I feel their soul.  I feel their goodness, but I also feel their brokenness. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with that.  It has definitely taken me by surprise.  In saying that, everyone needs hope.  They need to know that they are beautiful and worthy of everything good.  They need to feel the good in the world and the good in the people around them.  They need to be able to heal their brokenness.  Love your neighbor!

I know that I did not know that, but even more, I did not ever feel that.  Today, I can say that I do!  Today I know that I am more than worthy of everything good!  My soul feels the goodness and love that it should.  My soul is happy.  For the first time in my life, I know I am worthy.  That's not to say that my soul will never feel sadness again.  That would be unrealistic for me to think that, but for so, so long, my soul was dead.  It was so unhappy.  I had no hope. 

Today, my soul is so happy and it's singing!  Most of the time, I'm not even sure why. There isn't a better feeling than to feel your soul singing!  I'm going to try to figure out what I'm supposed to do with all this.  I know the message is for me, but I also know the message may be for you.  The heart knows what the soul needs.  That said, no matter what, I'm in it to win it.  I'm going to get it right this time around.  I have to.  My soul is at stake and I'm not going to stop my journey ever!  I want to know why.  I've always needed to know why. The answers are there, I just have to be open enough to see them.  This is good!  I'm so excited!  I am ready to let my soul sing!  How about you?

My SoUL Is SiNGiNg!