SeRiOuSly! Stop Overthinking This!

Anyone who know me knows that I overthink Everything!  I mean everything!

I overthink should I do this or should I do that?  Why didn't I do this, or why didn't I do that?  Why did that happen, or why didn't it happen?  It's ridiculous!  Really ridiculous and I can freak myself out in a matter of seconds!  I overthink the smallest, most insignificant things that most people probably don't give a second thought to. 

Why do I do this?  I wish I knew!  I have all day to think about

things, but apparently I would rather do that when it's time for me to sleep!  The minute I lay my head down on the pillow, my brain starts thinking and it literally thinks for hours, at high speed!   Even when I eventually fall asleep it must continue to think without my physical body participating because I can wake up during the night and catch my brain in mid-thought!  Seriously, how does that even happen? 

I've over thought my life for as long as I can remember.  The truth is, it's a jOykiLLeR!  Since I've declared 2014 my haPpiNeSs yEaR, I have to find a way to silence the overthinking and just let everything be what it will be!  After all, there is no hApPinEsS without jOy and I do not have joy when I'm overthinking!

When I think about it, I would have to say that fear of the unknown must enter into the equation somewhere. I have lived a lifetime in fear of many things, but today, right now, I'm going to declare war on fear.  Without fear, there won't be any overthinking, because it's all good!  Right?  I mean however it works out is the way it should work out.  What I do when I overthink something is possibly change the outcome.  What if I've changed the outcome from a good thing to a bad thing?  Oh!  That's good!  I think I just gave myself some great insight!  See how much help you all are when you let me think out loud?!

I've come to understand, over the years, that overthinking is one of my OCD

things.  If you're OCD, you know that we all have our OCD's.  Not everyone is OCD about the same things and everyone has a different level of perfection acceptable to themselves. When I'm OCDing, my heart beats fast and my ears start ringing and I can't hear well.  I start having stomach cramps, my head hurts, I can't think straight, and well ..........................!  If you're OCD, well, you know the rest!

One of the things I always overthink is relationships.  That encompasses family, friends, coworkers, and now that I'm single again, dating.  I recently started dating someone and when I told my BFF, Sharon about my new friend, she said, "Cyndi, don't overthink it!"  I told her that I'm not going to do that.  She just laughed!  When I told my daughter by text because she was out of town, she texted me back and said, "Mom, please just enjoy yourself and don't overthink it!" Ok, they really do know me well!  I'm not sure I like that they have me figured out!


So far I thought I had done a fair job of not overthinking it. Now, I'm not so sure.  One of the things I finally figured out is that if something happens to stress me out, it doesn't matter what it is.  It can be something not even related to the friendship/relationship, then I start overthinking everything in my life.

 I really have to stop doing that.  I sabotage myself!  I try to ruin a good
thing by questioning everything.  Why?  That's what I need to figure out. I think partly it's because I don't think good things will happen for me.  I always think good things are for all the other people, not me.  Why can't I just go with the flow?  Why do I have such a hard time excepting happy?  Why do I question good things coming into my life?  So, excepting happy and expecting good things in my life is exactly what I'm going to be thinking from now on!  That has
to be one of the keys to stop all this overthinking.

So now, right in this moment, I am taking a deeeeep breath.  I'm going to work very, very hard to give myself, and everyone around me, a BrEaK!  I am going to repeat again and again, "I WILL NOT OVERTHINK THIS!"  I will not overthink this!  It's all good!  It Really Is!  I am so very blessed!  I know that!  I am blessed to have great friends and family that know how to handle "my kind of crazy"!  I am so thankful for 2nd chances and I hope I never have to ask for a 3rd chance!  I hope I can get it right!  I do deserve it!  We all do!

I Will Not OVeR THinK This! 

It's All ReALLy ReaLLy GOoD!