The Kiss of God

I always thought that I was put on this earth to be a wife and a mother.  I thought I was here to love my husband and my children without ceasing, no matter what.  I gave them the best of myself.  I gave them everything I had to offer.  I cherished our life together no matter how hard it was, because that's what I thought my purpose was.  When that world came crashing down, I thought I lost my purpose.  I was so confused.  I thought, "God, if that wasn't what I was here for, then what?"  I mean, I spent almost 38 years doing, to the best of my ability, what I thought God wanted me to do.  My divorce has been final over one year but with the separation and the amount of time it took to get the divorce final it's been over 2 years.  I still find myself asking, "What is my purpose?  Why am I here?"

I have come to understand that life is tough, but God takes us to tough places to develop our courage

our faith, and our trust, to know that in such devastation, He is here.  He is God.  That's exactly what He did.  I couldn't see it while I was going through it.  I used to say, "God where are you?  I can't hear you.  I can't feel you.  I need you.  I don't understand this.  If you love me, WHY?  WHY THIS?"

Now, today,  I can look back, and I can see so many times when I didn't think God was there, I was actually getting a kiss from God.  I love getting kisses from God.  Kisses are when God shows me just how much He loves me. That's what I love about God.  He's not always in your face.  Sometimes you have to search for Him to find Him!  Sometimes it's in the small things that God is showing Himself the biggest!  Often times I missed Him, I thought He left me all alone, but thinking back now, I can see all that I have to be thankful for and just how much me, little me, means to God.

I mean, how blessed am I that God took me out of a terrible marriage and gave me a second chance to find real love and real happiness?  A Kiss from God!  I have a beautiful place to live, everything I need, and many of the things I want.  A Kiss from God!  I have re-connected with dear friends that I had not been in touch with for so long.  I didn't realize how much I missed them!  A Kiss from God.  I have met new friends and such wonderful people that I would have never met in my old life.  A Kiss from God!  I have for the first time in my life gotten to think about what makes Cyndi happy.  I'm still not sure about what I like.  A Kiss from God!  I get to share my story and hopefully inspire, but at the least let you know that whatever your struggles are, you do not have to face them alone.  A Kiss from God!  Finding the courage to go forward when I could not see the path ahead and I was afraid.  A Kiss from God!  Realizing that I am never, ever alone.  A Kiss from God!

There are so many other examples that I could give you, but I think you get the idea.  Even though it's been raining all day, and we all know I'm solar powered, I am so smiling on the inside and outside!  I am so loving my life!  I am really happy!  Wow!  I wasn't sure I would ever be able to say that!  Maybe just being able to figure that out, is my purpose!  Life is good!  God is good!  I just needed to tell you guys that!

Oh YeaH, KisSeS FrOm GOD!