Where Love Lives!

Where does love live?  Of course, I know where it lives.  It is born and lives and flourishes and thrives in your heart.  At the end of my marriage and the beginning of my new single life journey, I decided that I would not ever allow my heart to be broken again.  When I said it, I meant it.  I remember telling my daughter that more than a year and a half ago.  So far I've done a great job at not allowing anyone near my heart.  The problem with doing that is that every relationship decision I have made since then, is that I have not or will not ever find love unless I let my heart rule. And how did I finally figure this out?

After a few relationship attempts that didn't work out so well, I was talking to my daughter about it and trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong.  She told me that I haven't healed completely yet. Wow!  How did she know that?  At first I was a little upset that she said that.  For the most part I have healed.  No anger, no bitterness.   And I've forgiven, which is huge in the healing process for sure.  What I haven't done is given my heart the okay to feel again.

What she told me after that was exactly what I needed to hear.  She said that I was thinking with my head and that is not where love lives.  Love lives in the heart.  If you don't feel it in your heart, it is not going to happen! You know what?  She is right. How simple is that?  Then she reminded me of what I said about protecting my heart.  I am so afraid of my heart getting hurt that I have been leaving it out of my relationship choices.  I thought that if I left it out, I could protect it.  I did protect it, but in the process, I made choices in my head that my heart would not have made.

I am amazed and proud that I have a daughter that is so in tuned to the heart. I'm also very happy that we have such a great relationship, otherwise I may not have ever connected what I was doing wrong.   Now that I realize what a huge mistake I've made, I am not going to repeat it again.  This is going to be very hard for me, but it is necessary.  Somehow, and I'm not exactly sure how this is going to work, I have to let my heart get in the process!  The heart always knows what the soul needs!  I can hear God now!  He's saying, "Cyndi, I will protect your heart.  Do not be afraid.  You need to listen to your heart and then you need to do what the heart asks!" I figure this is going to take an awful lot of courage.  Seriously, God, you want me to allow my heart to be vulnerable enough to be broken?  I'm not so sure.  That's a very scary prospect to me.  But who knows better than God?  Not me, that's for sure!  So I'm taking a deep breath,  my heart is pounding, and I'm really not sure about this, but I'm going to allow God to bring the right person into my life.!

I know that God's timing is definitely not mine, because I always want everything, NoW!  I know this is going to require me to be patient and just wait.  I'm not good at waiting, I'm just not!  Just in case you're out and you happen to see the guy that's going to melt my heart, could you please try to speed him up?  I'm not getting any younger!

Wow!  That's a life changer!