And Just What's Wrong With Being OCD, Anyway???

Okay, so if you don't know what OCD is, it's ObSeSsIvE cOmPuLsIvE dIsOrDeR!  I could be the poster child for OCD!          


For me that means every moment of every day has a rule, a schedule and something that must be accomplished, and not just accomplished, but to my view of perfection.  Even on fun days, OCD organizes them.  It's very difficult to be spontaneous because that would mess up the order of things.  I have spent a lifetime making lists, schedules, and the order in which things must be done, Now I've read that ODC/Perfectionism, is a form of self torture.  Ok. Maybe so, but what would our world be like if you didn't have us overly organized people to keep everything straight and get everything accomplished?  Besides that, that study was probably done by a very messy person!  Not there's anything wrong with being messy. I just don't understand the concept!

When I was younger and had small children and worked outside my home, I thought this trait was a very useful tool.  It did allow me to get an awful lot of things done in a short amount of time.  I was the QuEeN of multitasking!   Although, I now realize that I was always so focused on the goal of getting things finished, that most of the time I missed the people connection.  I look back now, in my sInGlE liFe and realize I have a lot of acquaintances, but not many friends.  And as I look around and realize that, it makes me sad.  I love people and I have so many fond memories the 28 years I worked.  I always worked with the public and wonder how many times I missed the chance to bless, or be blessed?

You see, if you are not OCD, you can probably walk in to a room and see the beauty of it.  Not me!  When I walk in a room I see everything that could be fixed.  I see things that need to be straightened, or I'm thinking of a way I could make it better. When this happens, and it always does, my focus leaves the beauty and I cannot stop thinking about fixing the flaws. It does sometimes take the joy out of something.  Wow!  I've missed the jOy-MoMeNt!

I do the same thing with myself.  When I look in the mirror, I see all my imperfections.  I see everything that I think needs to be changed or could be improved upon.  I think OCD played a part in my low self esteem.  That and a husband that only saw my imperfections and made sure he pointed all of them out to me year after year for almost 40 years!   I've been working very hard at changing my SeLf ImAgE.  A few months ago a friend suggested a book to me that has literally changed my life! It so resonated with me and I love it!  It felt like the author was looking in to my soul and writing about me.  I love it so much I always suggest it as a must read to friends and family.  If your interested, the book is, "You Can Heal Your Life," by Louise L. Hay.

That all said, it is what it is!  I embrace it now like never before! I realize that I can't change it, so I need to learn to work with it and not let it control my life.  The world is a very chaotic place, but in my world, order is key.  For me cleaning and organizing, and schedules, and rules are very therapeutic!  It works almost as well as going ShOpPiNg!  I did say almost!

  So I'll share with you some of my obsessions.  Everything in my pantry and closets and dresser drawers are always oRgAnIZeD.   Not only are they organized, but every label in the pantry is turned to face the same way.  Every piece of clothing is organized, of course by color and sleeve type!  Every accessory, in every room is positioned perfectly and when I walk in or out of a room I automatically check them to make sure I don't need to tweek anything.  You can see how by the end of a day it's enough to make you CrAzY! Every time I open anything,  I look to see if maybe there is some way to make it better!  Better for who, I'm not sure?  I live alone!  I used to be able to tell someone exactly where something was and I do mean exactly My mind was like a card catalog.  Since my car accident 3 years ago and the loss of most of my short term memory, things are different.  It's all still totally organized but I can't exactly remember where!

The other day I needed something to do so I decided to organize my dresser drawers, not that they weren't already, but I thought of a better way!  By the time I finished I was laughing at myself and saying, if people saw pictures of these drawers, they'd come lock me up!

My children are both OCD and so is my younger sister, Karan.  When you get us all together, look out!  We will re-organize the organized!

When my kids were teenagers I would always know if they had come home during the day when they should have been in school.  My son would  always ask me how I knew.  I told him I know the placement of everything in the house and I can spot it in a second if it is out of place!  And my poor co-workers!  I would be standing at someone's desk talking and the whole time I'm talking, I would be straightening everything on their desk!

When I moved into my condo, I had some new friends come over so I would show them around.  One of them asked me if I live here.  At first I didn't understand where she was going with that comment.  I said of course I do why.  She said because everything in here is perfect!  I started laughing and told her maybe to her it was, but I could pick out so many things I needed to fix!

That said, I hope you all have a wonderful day!  I have some organizing to do!