Fear

Ah, Yes, FeAr!  It's one of the most powerful words on earth.  Just saying it brings the thought of fears to mind.  It can cripple you.  It will stop you dead in your tracks or at least slow you down.  It causes wars, and it makes people do terrible things.  There is nothing good in fear.  It almost always keeps you from going, or doing, or being, or seeing something!

Now me, I am afraid of almost everything.  I'm afraid of heights, small spaces, and bugs.  I'm afraid of what people think about me, and that I don't look good enough.  I always put my right shoe on first because I'm afraid of what will happen if I put my left shoe on first. I'm afraid of not making my bed one day.  I'm afraid that would be the day that I die and everyone would think I was messy.  I'm afraid of not being good enough.  Good enough for what, I don't know!  I'm afraid of not being perfect, or doing something perfect.  I'm afraid of things getting out of order. My whole life has to be in order.  I need a schedule for everything and then I'm afraid of the schedule getting messed up.  I'm afraid of dying before I've gotten the chance to live.  I'm afraid I  won't find out what my purpose is in life.  I don't want my life to mean nothing.  Everything that's happened has to be for a reason. I can't figure out why I can't find my reason for being.

Then at church today, God sends me the message in the words of our preacher!  It's the rEJecTiOn that comes with the fear that keeps me from getting where I need to go!  That's huge!  I am so afraid of being rejected, that I do not put myself out there to meet, or help, or inspire or be inspired, or just get to know people.  Jesus' principle is to Love Your Neighbor, but how can I love my neighbor when I'm afraid of being rejected by my neighbor?  By my neighbor I mean everyone in the world that I come in contact with.  I keep myself very guarded around people and I didn't know why.  I have been trying desperately to figure out what my purpose is and in which direction I'm supposed to be going.  The problem is that every time I think I know, I stop, it completely paralyzes me, and find a million excuses why I can't do that.  FeAr & the ReJeCtIoN that comes with it is keeping me from moving forward!  WOW!  

EvErYThInG I wAnt Is juSt On The OTheR SidE of FeAr!  GaMe On!