My Amazing Life!

The other day I was in the bathroom putting on makeup and I heard God!  Now it's not often that I hear God, but this was very clear. He said, "You have an aMaZiNg LiFe!"  I didn't say anything, but kind of brushed off the words. In a few seconds, I heard Him again, "You have an aMaZiNg LiFe!!"  I kind of smiled and kept on putting on my makeup. Then I heard it again, but very loud this time.  I figured at that point, God really wanted me to stop what I was doing and acknowledge Him.  So I did. I could feel the excitement rise inside me and I started laughing and said out loud, "Ok God, I hear you!  You are right!  I do have an aMaZiNg LiFe!!!!  I couldn't stop smiling all day!  I could just hear God telling me over and over again that I have an aMaZiNg LiFe!  And He's right! 
 I do have an aMaZiNg LiFe!  

A few short months ago I couldn't have said that or for that matter even heard God telling me that.  I wasn't ready.  I was used to dealing with the bad situations in my life, and I didnt think I was worthy of the good things.  I thought those were for other people.  I think God gives us what we can handle when we can handle it, good or bad.  I always found a way to handle the bad.  Now I needed to figure out how to except the good things that are just waiting for me! WOW!  

I have gone from being in a very dark place to living in the light. Now I know there are people that won't understand that.  I'll try to explain it.  I had for 18 months tried to get my house sold and my divorce finalized.  There were road blocks at every turn. It was frustrating and I was angry, and sad, and hurt. I knew my life could not start over until these things were finished and I could not get them finished. I was in a bad living situation and I knew I was at the end of what I could emotionally handle.  My ex-husband and I were living in the same house.  He wouldn't move out and I had no income, so I did not have the resources to move out. 

One day I was sooo frustrated that a had a total meltdown!  You know the kind I'm talking about.  We've all had one!  So I started yelling at God and throwing things!  I yelled, " Okay God!  That's it!  I'm finished!  I can't do this anymore!  You take it all!  You do it! I'm DONE!!!!"

Well, looking back, now I realize that's what God was waiting on!  He was waiting on me to finish trying to make things happen!  He was waiting on me to accept the fact that I had no control and that I could not get it accomplished!  That was a very difficult thing for me to do.  I always want to be, or at least feel like I'm in control.  So, you know what happened next?  I did not try anymore!  I left it all in God's lap.  And then an absolutely AmAzInG thing happened. In two months our house sold and closed and my divorce became final!  What I had tried so hard to do and couldn't get done, was finished.  I felt like it was the first time in 18 months that I could actually take a deep breath and relax!  Many situations had to be dealt with during that time period and I had been playing defense for sooo long, I was exhausted. 

Now, I laugh at myself and tell myself that it all would have happened sooner if I wasn't so stubborn and would have just let go and let God!  

My aMaZiNg LiFe!  WoO hOo!