Friendship

I love people!  I love watching them!  I love being out with them and I love getting to know them!  I have worked for them and tried to make them happy most of the time, for most of my life.  I love the social interaction with them.  Why, then it is so hard for me  to keep them as fRiEnDs?

I was watching all the kids pLaYiNg with each other yesterday at Heather's house.  They were having so much fun!  I love watching how they interact with each other.  They laugh and play and are so hApPy!  They can all be having a good time together and the next minute a couple of them won't be getting along, but they don't let that spoil their fUn.  In a few minutes they get over it and are all back laughing and playing together like nothing happened.  I think that's because not only are they are all friends, they just don't put so much emphasis on the small stuff.  They just want to have fun!  It's so sImPLe!

I wonder why most adults can't do that.  I wOnDeR why I can't do that!  Why can't I live a life intent on just having fun and seeing how many fRiEndS I can make!  Why can't I just forget the small stuff.  I know I make things so difficult.  I think over a situation and then I rethink it over and over again.  I would love to be able to shut down that part of me.  I give the negative so much room in my head and in my life.  I would love to live my life with the intent of just having fUn!  I would love to see what would happen if I just tried to make others hApPy.  When I look back over my life, I'd like to be able to smile and say, "Wow, I sure did have a lot of fun!  And, I had so many fRIeNdS!"  Well, if

that's going to happen, then I need to change an awful lot of things in my life.

The first half of my life was spent trying to make everything pErFeCt.  It was about working, and working, and then working some more.  It was about trying to have more and trying to pay off more and trying to achieve more. It was about worrying and stressing, and generally not being happy. There was no time for fUn.  There was no time for being sPoNtAnEoUs.  There was no time for friends. There was no time for happy.  There was so much to accomplish and so little time and it all seemed so important.  Well, it wasn't.  I spent so much time and energy for a life that just fell apart. I worked so hard to create something that really didn't exist, that I forgot to spend any time crEaTiNg something that would last a lifetime, fRIeNdSHiP!

Now that I look back on my life, I can see that I missed out on so much. I missed out on the really important things.  I missed out on really getting to know all the people that came in and out of my life.  I missed out on developing deeper friendships with so many of them that I would love to have in my life now.  I can't imagine how much fun I missed out on!  I can't  imagine how much hApPiNeSs I missed out on and all the SuPpORt that I missed out on.  I missed out on having fRIeNdS!

So that's what I'm really going to try to change.  I'm going to learn to NoT sWeAt the SmAlL sTuFf!  I'm going to start learning to let it go.  It really doesn't matter.  It really doesn't!  I'm going to learn to give more gRaCe and show more MeRcY!  After all the gRaCe and MeRcY God's shown me, that's the least I can do is show it to everyone I know and eVeRyOnE I meet.  And I'm going to have fUn!  I mean really have FuN!  Because when I look back at the second half of my life, I am going to be able to say, "Wow did I have a bLAsT! " And I'm going to be able to sMiLe and say, "wOw!  Look at all the fRiEnDs I have!"

Now that's what's iMpOrTaNt!  FrIeNdShIp and FuN!